Stop Forcing Me to Meet People!

Okay, this isn't really personal, but we all feel this pain. And the title is a good line to send to everyone in your network … and they should feel comfortable telling you the same.

Another title for this blog post could be: Stop Forcing Other People to Kiss Frogs. And Stop Being that Frog.

As set up... a very successful Business Developer I manage sent me this Onion article. In a nutshell, it's a joke article about people being forced to talk "features and benefits" and "skill sets" non-consensually. Like most good jokes, it's funny because it's true.

More truth:

1) You are not at networking events to talk synergies or features and benefits. If you think you are, then please look at my schedule and avoid the events I attend. Also, I'm short, balding and have a beard. Please avoid anyone that fits this description, in case it's me. (All short, bearded, balding people now owe me a "thanks.")

2) If you are sharking the room to find chum, then see #1 above.

3) And while we are on the subject, do not connect anyone together via e-mail without both of their permissions.

Question: So why even go to networking events?

Answer: To set up "synergy" conversations at a later date.

Question: But how can I do this without telling them all of my skill sets in painful detail, while guessing at what they might find valuable without any actual context?

Answer: Converse at a higher level. If you connect, you can then arrange a time for the other conversation. A time when you are both prepared for it.

Examples:

• What are you seeing "out there" right now?

• How are you/your firm dealing with ___insert critical business topic or current event here ___?

• What brings you here? How do you know the organizers?

|>The goal of networking events is to connect with people on a high level. Any "synergy" conversations can happen when you meet at a later date for coffee – after you do some research to make sure the follow-up discussion is valuable for them.<|

Yes, the point of networking is to meet new people, though you should know the type of new people in the room, if not also their names, before you bother to go. But forcing them to hear your "story" – right there and then – is sad and pathetic, not valuable. If you think it's fun or cathartic, there are professionals you can pay to listen.

In short: Elevator pitches are for set moments, not networking events. Unsure when? Err on the side of: not now.

Now to #3.

When you send an e-mail connecting two people together, assuming you did not get their prior permission, you are likely wasting their most irreplaceable resource: time.

They now have to meet or risk insulting both the other person and you. The likelihood they will find mutual value is low. The odds either of them needs yet another random network contact is even lower*. While you think you are doing them a favor, you are more likely punishing them for knowing you or ever having given you their contact information.

|>My response to unapproved e-connections is generally: What gives you the right to promise this person an hour of my time? Your response should be the same.<|

Ask for the right. Explain, specifically, why you think the connection might be of value to them. And don't be upset if they politely decline. In fact, if they decline, you have just been complimentary, helpful and irreplaceably valuable.

1) You let them know you are thinking of them. Complimentary.

2) You have now gotten a better idea of who they believe is a valuable connection. Or who they believe is not. Helpful.

3) You saved them an hour of wasted time. Irreplaceably valuable.

Now get out there and network. Assuming you need to meet more people ... though you likely do not.

*Next up: I plan to assess the last 3 years of my networking coaching efforts to see how many of my clients actually needed to meet more people. I doubt it will be a high number. Off the top of my head, I can only think of 1 company and 4 individuals that didn't already have enough contacts to build out their referral/promoter networks. So why are they meeting more people? Watch this space.

The Value of Failure (aka Prototyping)

Two months ago, I wrote that Marketing is the Art of Managing Failure. I.e. that trying, and failing, is basically what we Marketing folks do for a living.

Then, I saw this video about the "marshmallow challenge."

I'm sure you can put two and two together.

And when you put pressure on your marketing folks (read: up the ante), you are likely going to ensure their failure and, worse still, put more emphasis on the output than on the learning.

If they succeed, great. But, based on the results of the marshmallow challenge, we can see that success lies not in getting it right the first few times, but in learning how to get it right by "prototyping" (read: failing.)

In shorter words:

1) Watch the video.

2) Allow your marketers to take calculated risks.

3) Expect (and require) them to track the results for future attempts.

The only real failure is failing to learn from failure.

Quick Networking Tip: Teeing Up "Business Talk" Over Lunch

It was never hard for me to mix business and lunch. In fact, I don't quite understand why it is for other people - especially since most of our weekday lunches are with other business folks, even if they have also become friends over the years.

Perhaps I had lunches with good networkers who weren't shy about mixing the two, so I learned from them. (In at least one case, I know this is true.)

Anyway... I'm often asked for tips and figured I'd put a couple of them here.

Have a mental agenda. (Required.)

Bring a relevant article to share.

Tee up the conversation with phrases like:

"During the business part of our lunch, I'd like to..."

"After we order and before the food comes, let's talk shop."

Set up the lunch with a business topic.

"Let's go to lunch, since I am not 100% sure who might be a good prospect for you."

"Hey, why don't you look at my LinkedIn profile beforehand and let me know of anyone you might want to meet."

"I see you now offer _______ service. Let's grab a bite; I'd like to learn more."

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that come to mind.

Happy networking.

Sorry, Virginia, There's No Such Thing as a Social Media Strategy

|> Point One: Asking your marketing director to create a Social Media (SM) strategy is like asking your architect to develop a fastener strategy. No doubt the chosen building contractor will need to use nails, screws, and staples to build your house, but it's a misguided question. <|

Agreed you can ask the architect if she plans to specify stainless nails for the deck (so they don't rust), but that is very different than asking her for a fastener strategy.

First, let's take a high level look at planning and for the purposes of this discussion, we'll keep it to Strategy, Tactics, and Tools.*

Marketing Strategy – aligning marketing to business goals. In other words: What, specifically, can marketing do to help reach the business goals?

Marketing Tactics – creating the steps/processes we need to take/create to execute these strategies. In other words: How are we going to meet our strategic marketing goals?

Marketing Tools – developing the materials and physical requirements for tactic execution. In other words: What assets do we or the business development and sales folks need?

Using the above, we see that Social Media is a collection of tools, sort of like the hardware store or a toolbox would be to our analagous architect. She would not even be the one using the tools, let alone consider developing a "tool-upwards" process to strategy development.

|> The answer to the question: "Do you have a Social Media strategy?" is "That's impossible."<|

You should have a Social Media policy, of course. If you don't, then stop reading and get one.

But whenever I am asked if we have a Social Media strategy (or suggested that we should have one, or have an iPhone app, get on Twitter, create a Facebook page, do some crowd sourcing, etc.), I feel like a architect being asked to get a power drill and go do some architecting. Or like when I happen to have a screwdriver (the tool kind) in my hand and I am looking around my house for screws that have come loose. Sure, it's efficient to see what else I can tighten while I have the screwdriver in my hand and I'm on my way to the tool room, but it's not a strategy. And it's not efficient to grab a random tool from my toolroom and then wander around for things to hammer, route, drill, sand, etc.

|> Point Two: Creating a Social Media (SM) budget is like asking your architect to develop a fastener budget. Again, she will need to spend a percentage of your budget on fasteners, but picking a number to spend on fasteners before you even have a blueprint is a ridiculous exercise. <|

And yet, we are often asked – and advised by so-called Social Media experts – to portion off a certain amount of our marketing budget for social media.

If you got this far and don't agree that this is a pointless "tool-upwards" approach, then there is really no reason to read farther, since I am not going to try to convince you any more that this is laughable.

So the question is: Why are social media experts telling you to do this?

Answer: For the same reason the sales person from the storm door manufacturing company would ask you to budget a certain amount of money for the aluminum frame, insulated versions of his products. (Hint: So you can buy them.)

An associate of recently mine said, "There is no such thing as a social media expert."

I believe this is untrue. I know a number of social media experts and believe any one of them would be very helpful in showing you how to best select and use specific social media tools to execute your tactics and, in result, fulfill your overall strategies.

Yes, I know that specifying storm doors you cannot afford is a bad way to execute your tactics or meet your strategy. And that a qualified architect needs to know about storm door functionality and costs (or consult with someone who knows) before finalizing a blueprint. But the point is that the strategy comes first. You do not start by planning to spend 5% of your budget on storm doors, though you might end up there.

In shorter words, listen to any relevant and credible expert who can show you social media tools, tips and techniques, but do not listen to them when they start pre-allocating your budget.

|> The answer to the question: "How much should we budget for Social Media?" is "Nothing." <|

You should budget for tactics. If that means you will need to spend money on social media tools (and you very likely will), then you will need to allocate budget towards those tools … as you have budget and as it makes sense to realize your goals.

To end, let's say it all together: There is no such thing as a Social Media strategy.

If you don't agree, then I'd like to show you a few aluminum frame, insulated storm doors.

*Yes, this is a very simplistic approach and no doubt many people have a more sophisticated planning regimen. The question, however, is: Does your approach and terminology allow you to call Social Media a "strategy"? If so, comment below. I'd love to be proven wrong here.

Hang on Loosely: Remove Streetlights, I Mean, Controls and Perhaps You Will Get Better Results

"...if you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control."

First watch this video about what people will do when it's assumed they will do the right thing.

So what does removing streetlights in England have to do with Marketing and Business Development?

We, as marketing strategists, tend to see two different responses to lower-than-desired marketing/bizdev performance: tighten controls (punish inaction) vs. increase empowerment (reward spirited effort).

First a caveat: I am not talking about decreasing measurement. You can (and should) continue to measure activity and not simply results, but how do you get that activity? Do you loosen controls and promote the spirit of the rule? Or do you tighten controls and ding people when they fail to hit those additional metrics?

It's pretty obvious where my head is here: hang on loosely.

People succeed in different ways. If I say everyone needs to go to two networking events every month – and we will measure attendance – we should expect to see a lot of "12" scores in six months, but should also expect to see widely varying results (sales, connections, engagement scores of the resulting contacts, etc.).

In any case, so far so good. We have everyone going to 24 networking events every year. This should end well.

But now we see that this "two per month" strategy isn't getting me as far as we expected. What happens next is the fork in the road.

Do we...

1) Add additional controls, such as requiring them to collect four business cards at each event? That's 96 cards per person per year!

2) Teach them networking strategies and reward those who move their new contacts to the next level?

Why not do both? Sure, why not? Anything else you want to add to our unending pile of tasks?

Moving on... if you had to pick one, which would you pick?

My advice is to pick #2.

If you select #1... No amount of controls will get the "letter-of-the-law" people to create break-through results. But you will force the "spirit-of-the-law" people into checking off boxes they do not feel have any value and might interfere with their ability to get to that value. Worse still, in my opinion, you might find yourself dinging the "spirit" folks for only making three contacts, when they are actually getting far more value from their three contacts than your "letter" folks are providing from their four.

And then what happens next?

More controls. And more controls. And more of your "spirit" folks checking off boxes to get you off their backs. And getting punished (or having to argue for exceptions) when they are doing the right thing!

Back to the video.

Yes, of course some people will "cheat" and not take turns ... and they will be rewarded by getting to their destination a few seconds faster for doing so. And that's not fair! And that makes us angry! But it makes us angry at them, not at the people who made the rules. This is an important distinction for those of us who believe morale is critical.

Most importantly, the majority of people will do the right thing and, in the end, the overall value to everyone is extraordinary.

Two Business Development Tools You Must Use

1) Google Alerts and 2) LinkedIn Groups.

OK, yes, there are more than two "musts" for Business Development tools, but if you are not using these, then start now.

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Don't Give Up On Your Blog (or Your e-Newsletter) Just Yet.

Tracking your readership is the easy part. Tracking your impact? Not so easy.

Your blog seems to get decent viewership, but has almost no followers and the only comments seem to come from SEO firms and spammers promoting E.D. pills or Russian brides. Your e-newsletter gets good opens and acceptable click-throughs, but, to outsiders looking in, it looks very much like a one-way street.

Should you give up? No. Not based on a lack of comments, anyway. At least not a lack of public comments.

Take heart from the following unsolicited comments from readers of two separate clients' efforts:

"Nice job David, I appreciated your insights and content this month especially."

(Not edited since I had permission to post. In fact, the "David" here, David Spitulnik, Managing Director of Blackman Kallick's Strategic Services Group, specifically asked me to create this blog post.)

If you looked at the Strategic Service's blog, you might wonder if anyone was actually reading it. But instead of judging its value by the number of comments you see, simply ask the author if he is getting any reaction or seeing any value. Actually, no need for you to pester him. David sent me a message after his most recent post: "Not sure what it is, but I have received more direct feedback this month than usual. One of them being a 'saw this note and passed it and your name along to a friend who needs help with succession planning.'"

And here's another unsolicited comment, in response to a different client's e-newsletter.

"Enjoyed your newsletter. Very interesting. I wasn’t aware of the _____ deal. We regularly have clients who are preparing their _____ but need to improve _____. I will be happy to send these folks your way."

Sounds just like the type of impact anyone would want from their efforts!

And, wait a second... let's go back to David's note. Did he say "direct feedback?" Let's consider that comment for a minute.

I'm frequently the voice of reason (against type, I know) when it comes to blogs and e-newsletters. My advice is often: Be patient. Build it slowly. Trust in your voice, your message and your readers. They'll come around.

Oh, and don't expect that you'll receive a Huffington Post-level comments. What makes you think you should receive that number of comments to your posts? More to the point: Why do you even want that?

Of course interaction is nice (like a pat on the back or the sound of a tree falling in the proverbial forest), but that's not how you should judge your blog or e-newsletter.

So, how should you judge it?

Don't ask me. Take a look back at your marketing plan and see why you created the blog or built the e-newsletter. If you are not realizing those specific goals, then do turn it off. If you don't know why you created it, then either turn it off or, quickly, come up with some goals. And then measure your success by those goals.

All that being said, if your goals included a specific number of comments to your every post, then you should change your goals and better manage the expectations of those judging the time (and money) you sink into these efforts.

But wait a second... am I really saying that you should simply trust that the blog is working?

No. Not at all.

If you are seeing no engagement (readership, click-throughs, etc.) then you can't be having any impact … and you need to charge course, since there is no there there. But if you are seeing decent engagement levels, and feel discouraged by a lack of public comments, then stay the course for a while longer.

What I am saying, simply (and admittedly not very succinctly), is not to judge your efforts solely by comments, but to look for other proof of engagement and impact. Such as direct feedback. Or people starting conversations with you based on what you wrote.

And I am also telling you not to judge other people's blogs by the number of comments. Judge them by the value of the content.

To end: Take heart and take your time. Building thought leadership takes patience and persistence.

Happy blogging.